i fell in the dark holes and i lost !

i thought i had moved to the new place, could changed my whole life to the good way. but i'm wrong, i fell to the darkest place, and most darkest hole when i start my journey . i know i have made a wrong decisions since the first time i stay here. but , i never felt regret of what i had done before . because i could take this as an experiences in my entire life. from good to bad but from bad to good is not sure and can't give a promise about it to anybody. yesss i love my family, my mum and my dad . but i also love to be me, to be myself . since i was here, there are many people that i seen gone wild . and i had met two peoples whom really care about me. the first person is Ridzuan Termazi , he care so much about me. idk if i just felt it by myself or he's really good for me. for me, he's my good good friend whom willing to help me whenever i had any problems . and the second person who cared for me until now is my new boyfriend, named Azar Khan . until now, he still be on my side eventho i'm the one who always makes he hurt and i'm the problems maker. i love him and  maybe he felt the way how i love him. even i know he still give his heart to her ex girl, and willing to wait that girl until now, i still could accept him because i know how much his love to her , and how much his love to me. thanks to both of them. for a god sake, i still can survive my path because of them . they give me their spirits and vigours . lifeless, someday i can be more tough than this . i learned something and i will do something . is it bad for me to stay alive ? HELL NO !